You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
