I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
