Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
