I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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