this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
