He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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