I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
