Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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