the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
