i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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