i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
