I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
