Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
