I want to have your abortion
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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