And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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