There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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