Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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