i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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