sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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