I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
