So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
