Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
