It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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