I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
