we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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