just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
