Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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