I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
