Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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