Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
