I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
