Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
