she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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