It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
