he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
