You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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