yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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