So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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