I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
