so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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