ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
