the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
