I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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