So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's never too late to be topless.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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