I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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