pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
