If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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