I think i peed on brittanys purse
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
