there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Houston, we have a blender
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
