I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
