Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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