Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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